life goes on brah

 God, I just feel like I'm missing out on so much youth! I'm incredibly socially awkward, so I don't have many friends. And I live in this island that is so fucking isolated so I can't go to BTS concerts. First of all, my parents wouldn't let me go to Las Vegas. Second of all, if I come back I'd have to stay in quarantine for 2 weeks which sucks. And I'm going to have to miss school which isn't a viable option. And I know this BTS thing is at its pinnacle right now, and after that its gonna go downhill since Jin is going to the military this year in December. Although I hope that BTS is going to continue to be this big so that I'd have a chance to see them at their most successful phase, I think the reality is that they're not gonna stay like this for long. And how do I solve this problem of living isolated, I should go to a larger city for college, that way, I can enjoy all the novelties that I didn't get the chance to experience in my child...

 It's been over three months since I last written on this blog. It is interesting to see what I was thinking about and doing in the past. I've gotten off recording stuff some time ago but now it's came back due to the stress of applying to college, in America! it's recently gotten worse because I'm gonna have to take tutoring lessons from solo. Turns out figuring out what you wanna do in college isn't that easy. I'm struggling between pre-med and business. I think I like medicine, but again, I don't know for sure. But I feel like business would make me lots of money without the effort needed in medicine. Now I'm leaning towards business cause I really want to live a comfortable lifestyle in the future. I've thought about going to a good liberal arts school so that I would have more time to figure out what I wanna do in college. I think my first choice would be RICE, the student life seems good and then I don't know. I've virtually visited...

 It has been quite stressful lately because so much is going on. I'm almost going to college but I still cannot decide on what I want to do in the future. It's frustrating. I think I may be more worried than I should be and I try to not get so worked up by this but my head still hurts from thinking about all this. My parents want me to go to Japan because they don't want to leave Asia. They say that if I wanna go to America, I'll have to study medicine. They say this because they don't want me to go to America and because they want me to pay for my tuition after I graduate. But I think mainly they don't want me to go to America. Things have been bugging me, like what i wanna do in the future and my ocd (like comparing IQ and remembering sensations). Also, like the stress the resulted from school work. Last night when i was doing chemistry my head hurted a lot. yesterday i had the realization had not everything has to be perfect. i think i should let go some of m...